Real Dating Review

By Penelope Phillips

You’ve done it again. In a moment of vulnerability, you were suckered into a relationship. You want it to end, but don’t want to spend the emotional energy to dump him yourself?  Have no fear; Penelope is here with a simple, 5 Step Plan to get rid of your man. Apply in sequence to achieve maximum results!

5. Don’t Laugh At His Jokes. If you laugh at your man’s jokes, he might get it into his head that you actually like him, or even love him! Don’t fall for that trap, and answer all his jokes with an absolutely straight face, an arched eye-brow — if you can — and conclude with a well-delivered “I see…” trailing off into an uncomfortable silence. You’ll be amazed at the results!

4. Be Condescending. It doesn’t matter who’s got the most diplomas, who’s most educated, or even who’s smartest. Whatever he says or does, make him feel like a gnat! Since he loves you, he’ll feel even worse than he would have otherwise! To multiply the condescension factor, do it in public!

3. Nag. Nag, nag, nag and then nag some more! I can’t repeat this one enough. Nagging is a crucial factor in getting dumped by your man! In fact, it is so crucial, that when properly applied, nagging can result in getting dumped all by itself! If he cooks, nagging is especially important around dinner time — not THAT again! — as well as in the washroom — come put down the toilet seat! The fact that you’re standing right next to the toilet seat but won’t spend the two seconds and one-half calorie expenditure to put it down yourself will REALLY rile him! You go girl!

2. Hate His Friends, And Tell Him. Generally speaking, men don’t have as many close friends as women do. So whatever few real friends your man has, pick on them, behind their backs! Tell him they take up too much of his time, even if they don’t. Be really nice to them when they’re there, so your man will know you are a hypocrite. Tell him they intrude on your “together time”, and when he gets rid of them, apply Number 5 through 3 repeatedly!

Ok, honestly, your man should have dumped you by now, but if he’s weak-willed or dependent and he hasn’t yet, move on to number 1!

1. Cheat on him. That’s right, cheat on him! There are several things to take into account here. First, you must do so in a way that everyone knows but him, so it’ll be all the more humiliating when he finds out! Also, make sure to cheat with someone that’s ugly, very old, or related to him, to enhance the shame and feelings of inadequacy!

So there you have it, girls. A simple, proven plan to get yourself dumped! Since I don’t personally know how spineless and weak your “significant” other is, I can’t guarantee results, but I’ll tell you this: You WILL succeed in making his life hell, and make him regret the moment he first laid eyes on you!

Dating advice is useful if you’re already dating, but what if you have no idea where to start? With that in mind, I suggest three venues that you can explore with the goal of meeting eligible men.

Get involve in an activity that you are passionate about. Join a gym, cooking class, pottery class, take dancing lessons or anything else that you are passionate about or at least interested in trying. By doing this, you will be in contact with potentially quality men who share a common interest.

Online dating forums or websites. Quality dating websites can help you find the love of your life. The advantage of these types of sites is that you can select pre-defined criteria such as education level, income, hobbies and interests, age, and location. The use of online dating sites can also provide a buffer time span that can allow you to screen for frauds, or determine to some extent what the other person is looking for, and other criteria that may be important to you. Online dating sites can be tailored to YOUR specifications. It is much easier to turn someone down in an email or on a site than in person. You have no inhibitions and can be fully honest without fear of humiliation. You may think to yourself, as many others have that only desperate people post profiles online. This is simply not the case. In today’s modern society we are simply busy and end up putting dating at the bottom of our list of priorities.

At work. Workplace relationships may be frowned upon by your organization, but they can be lasting and meaningful. As long as you ensure that limits are set, and that you make sure that conflicts of interest are not an issue, consider it. You spend so much time at work; why not consider dating a colleague? Have lunch with a colleague of interest, and see if you cannot make a special connection. With this method, I warn you not to be too upfront at the beginning, see if there is chemistry first, and then proceed.

Open your eyes! Good looking, intelligent, funny men are all around us. Be proactive in your search, and be open to new experiences, and enjoy life. It is crucial to be comfortable in one’s own skin. A partnership involves two partners, not two halves. By this I mean that you have to be able to bring something constructive to the other’s life. Take control of your love life, and you’ll find what you’ve been missing.

I am here to tell you that love is the most powerful thing. Better than chocolate, better than success, better than all the money or possessions you could accumulate in a lifetime. Don’t get desperate, never settle, and keep looking. The love of your life is waiting to be found!