Real Dating Review

Most women have their own personal checklist of qualities and attributes of their future mate. I have to admit, I am just as guilty as the next… BUT unfortunately, it is often not possible to find a match with a real-life person that fits into our box of the ‘perfect guy’. In an idealistic world things may be different; unfortunately we all have to face our own realities.

I am not trying to discourage, believe me, and read on.

While it may be easy to say, “I will not settle for anyone under a certain height, over a certain weight, under a certain income”, it may not be in your best interest. Sometimes, happiness and love can occur in the most underestimated of matches and circumstances. I am not saying to abolish all standards! I am not saying to get hitched with the first guy who makes eye contact. What I am saying is that sometimes, we have a tendency to say “I want”, rather than “I need”.

Think about this distinction. It is often hard to conceive of because of the ability of so many goods, people, and services at our fingertips. Needs last a lifetime, wants are gone once we have acquired them.

Alexander Hamilton said, “Those who stand for nothing fall for anything” and it still rings true today. While it is important to distinguish need from want, it is also important to determine aspects that you absolutely will not back down from, whether it be sense of humor, child-rearing, politics, religion, income, financial stability, whatever it may be, stand proud and express your beliefs. It is up to you to decide whether or not a disagreement is a deal breaker.

Let’s take a classic example, shall we? While shopping you notice a cute little pair of Jimmy Shoes; do you need them? Probably not, but us girls can think up any possible reason to need them because that is what we want.

Start to think about qualities or attitudes of a possible mate. Is he tall, dark haired, muscular, intelligent, and ambitious? Does he make you laugh? Is he compassionate? Do his eyes give the impression of reading your soul? Do you share common values, common goals, and sense of humor?

Remember, Prince Charming can take many forms. The people you have dated obviously are not meeting the bar; did you ever think of asking yourself why?

Consider your needs — your true needs — and then give the singles in your area a chance, a real chance, without preconceived notions. Have fun, enjoy life, and above all, keep smiling!

Every one of us has a first date horror story. Those stories usually involve the man you’re meeting not looking at all like he did on his picture or what you could infer from his description. Or maybe he had really bad breath and wore a toupee that did not match his real hair.

Those stories are funny enough, but those aren’t horror stories. Here are a few tips to make sure your first date doesn’t turn into a TRUE horror story.

Pick the place. Choose a well-lit, very public meeting spot. Arrange to meet at a coffee shop, or if it’s summer and you have to option, a public festival, or street sale. Not only will there be lots of people around, but it is a good occasion to see someone outside of what may be his natural environment.

Tell a Friend. I don’t mean call a friend to gossip about having a date — you can do that too, of course! — But rather to tell them where you are going and who you are meeting. Make sure to tell your friend or family member at what time you expect to be home. Remember to call them after your date so they don’t worry unnecessarily.

Plan to Receive a Phone Call. Ask that friend or family member you just told about your date to call you about 45 minutes into your date. It won’t be very much of an inconvenience to either you or your date, and should the meeting prove awkward, it will give you an opportunity to exit gracefully, pretending some emergency.

Avoid Alcohol. A glass of wine or a beer are always fun, but avoid them on a first date. Alcohol, even just a little bit, will impair your judgment and lower your inhibitions, which can lead to complications which I don’t need to explain. If you like him, there’ll be plenty of opportunities at later dates to have a drink together. If you don’t, then you can have a glass of wine by yourself when you get home.

These safety tips are as easy to follow as they are discreet. They will not make your date think you are thinking that he’s a creep. The goal of the first date is nothing more than to establish whether it is worth it or nor to have a second date. While, as the saying goes, you only get one chance to make a first impression, do not go overboard. Smile, be polite, enjoy yourself and above all, be yourself!