Real Dating Review

When meeting with someone new, you very often do not have much to go on, especially if you’ve been set up on a blind date. It is therefore very important to be able to analyze all the little clues the person across the table may be giving, particularly the ones he or she may be giving out without knowing it.

I’m talking about body language. 

There are many things a trained observer can tell from someone, even if that person is not saying a word. For example, looking at the eyes; is the person constantly looking towards the door, looking at someone else, or God forbid, looking at his or her watch? Is your date slightly shifted in his or her seat, i.e. not looking directly at you? If so, that may be an unconscious sign that he or she is ready to bolt, or at least would like to!

Unfortunately, all these signs may pass you by, especially if you are attracted to the other, or a little too animated and involved in what you are saying. 

One thing you can not miss, however, is the crossed arms. If the object of your desires, sitting across the table from you has his or her arms crossed, this is a sign that you are on extremely shaky ground.

You had better start paying attention to what you are saying, and see what kind of reaction you get. It is possible to recover from the crossed arms in terms of a successful date, but it is very difficult.  

Crossed arms denote that the person is closing in on himself, and has made the conscious or unconscious decision not to be receptive to what you are saying. That means that as far as your date is concerned, your jokes are not funny, your stories not endearing, and your conversation in general, boring.

One way to possible salvage something from this fiasco is to ask questions, and to make sure your date talks as much as possible. Everyone loves talking, and most of the time, people just love talking about themselves. So ask lots of questions and try to shift the conversation away from what caused the crossed arms in the first place.

By Penelope Phillips 

I consider myself sort of an expert on blind dates. Over the years, and since I was old enough to date, caring friends and concerned family members have been trying to convince me that they had found “the perfect match for me”… Unfortunately that has not turned out to be true – yet! But keep hoping and stay sharp, because blind dates CAN work!

When a blind date has been arranged, the question is: how do you prepare yourself, mentally and physically, for such an event?

To start, make sure – and repeat this to yourself a couple of times – do not set your standards either too high, or too low. If at all possible, try coming to the date without any preconceived notions about the other person. It’s hard, but work towards that.

I strongly suggest talking on the phone first, establishing a certain level of comfort, to find out what you may have in common. This will certainly come in handy when the first uncomfortable silence kicks in!

And even if the first phone call makes you want to crawl under a rock and die, or join a nunnery, don’t! Do not base your entire opinion of someone on a disembodied voice at the end of a phone line. Some people are uncomfortable on the phone, but may be absolutely charming in person. Don’t miss out on meeting the love of your life because of an awkward phone call!

If at all feasible, make a couple of calls to common acquaintances asking for information… Do a little snooping – not too much – and find out what there is to find out. If it is not possible, don’t worry about it. You never know where love may be hiding!

After all the psychological preparations, checking and snooping, prepare yourself as you would any other date. Shave, shower, style your hair, and pick an appropriate attire to showcase the fabulous you – that goes for women AND men!

Knowing you look good will make you feel good, boosting your confidence. This will in turn add to your natural charm, radiance and attractiveness. Just be yourself – nobody likes a fake.