Crossed Arms are The Nuclear Bomb of Body Language
When meeting with someone new, you very often do not have much to go on, especially if you’ve been set up on a blind date. It is therefore very important to be able to analyze all the little clues the person across the table may be giving, particularly the ones he or she may be giving out without knowing it.
I’m talking about body language.
There are many things a trained observer can tell from someone, even if that person is not saying a word. For example, looking at the eyes; is the person constantly looking towards the door, looking at someone else, or God forbid, looking at his or her watch? Is your date slightly shifted in his or her seat, i.e. not looking directly at you? If so, that may be an unconscious sign that he or she is ready to bolt, or at least would like to!
Unfortunately, all these signs may pass you by, especially if you are attracted to the other, or a little too animated and involved in what you are saying.
One thing you can not miss, however, is the crossed arms. If the object of your desires, sitting across the table from you has his or her arms crossed, this is a sign that you are on extremely shaky ground.
You had better start paying attention to what you are saying, and see what kind of reaction you get. It is possible to recover from the crossed arms in terms of a successful date, but it is very difficult.
Crossed arms denote that the person is closing in on himself, and has made the conscious or unconscious decision not to be receptive to what you are saying. That means that as far as your date is concerned, your jokes are not funny, your stories not endearing, and your conversation in general, boring.
One way to possible salvage something from this fiasco is to ask questions, and to make sure your date talks as much as possible. Everyone loves talking, and most of the time, people just love talking about themselves. So ask lots of questions and try to shift the conversation away from what caused the crossed arms in the first place.
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